Fear of Being Seen

Introduction

I’ve always had a fear of being seen. I’m not sure why or when it started, but I remember dealing with this issue as a child, and now as a writer. Maybe it’s the fear of being judged or not being perceived as good enough. Well, whatever the cause of it, I know I’m not the only one that experiences this and I won’t be the last person to. This common feeling gives me a little bit of comfort and courage. I know this feeling is shared by many great writers and artists and is one that comes and goes. In this post, I will discuss why writers have this fear, more about my personal journey, and how to overcome these fears.

What is the Fear of Being Seen?

Many artists, including writers, have a fear of being seen. This can be for various reasons such as fear of not being good enough (imposter syndrome), fear of failure, comparisons, or being a beginner. Sharing your work as a creative person can be a daunting task. It can be vulnerable and personal, making it hard to separate yourself from it. I often think that we can be our own worst critics. This fear can stop us from completing projects, and picking them apart and only seeing the flaws. It can stifle creativity and have us be overcritical of our ideas. It can also lead to artists creating in a vacuum and not sharing their work, which I think is a gift to the world. It also can have a negative effect on our well-being and mental health. This fear will also hold us back from opportunities big and small. Sharing our work can have an impact on at least one person, and that in itself is a big accomplishment. You also may not know who will come across your work that can have a big impact on you in return it could be illustrators, editors, publishers, agents, or long-term fans.

Personal Experience

I have always been a perfectionist and critical of my work since childhood. I loved learning in school, but always had to get the best grade I could and would often not turn in work if I felt like it wasn’t the best that I could do. This fear has been one that I continue to struggle with. I grew up as a people pleaser and always wanted to be seen in a positive light. I often have anxiety about others seeing my work as if it determines my value as a person. One recent example of this is when I published my first novel. I had worked on it on and off for a few years. I even had it professionally edited and designed, but I still struggle thinking it is not good enough. I often think about other writers’ debut novels and how they are bestsellers and have so many fans. I keep reminding myself this is only my first novel and book that I completed. I should be proud of that accomplishment and should be happy I followed through and had the courage to share my ideas with the world. It isn’t the best work yet because it isthe first one I wrote and it will not resonate with everyone. I also realized my path is different and if I continue to write I will eventually get to where I want to be. These are truths I need to accept and be able to move on from. I was so terrified of showing my work that I even didn’t share my work with my parents. I know they would be proud and supportive, but I was afraid of them sharing my work with their friends and other family members. I have a fear of how they would perceive my work and what they would think of me. I have to learn to separate myself from my work. It’s a challenge because we spend so much time pouring ourselves. I have to remember that it’s my job to create and show up in the world, not to be liked.

Overcoming These Fears

I’m overcoming these fears and believe it will be a lifelong battle. Many well-known writers and authors still struggle. Connecting with other authors and writers online has helped me see I’m not the only one and I just need to reach out. I am also trying my best to celebrate my achievements without looking at external factors such as reviews (positive or negative), sales, and opinions. It’s hard, but I am willing to overcome this. I also will be focusing on my craft by continuing to take courses and read books. I’m more hesitant to share my work now and will be focusing on writing short stories and will eventually work on another novel. I’m trying to have more self-compassion for myself. The world is already a tough place, why do I put so much pressure on myself? I’ve been practicing saying affirmations and trying to get into a more positive mindset before writing. I’ve been practicing being more vulnerable and sharing my feelings on the setbacks and mindset of being creative. I need to give myself the space and time to be creative without judgment. This can mean free writing or trying a completely new genre, without the pressure of sharing my work. I still have a ways to go, but I hope over time this issue will be resolved.

Conclusion

The fear of being seen is one I’ve had that started before I became a writer and it's one that I’m learning to overcome. I have to realize that my work has value regardless of what other people think about it. I have to keep persisting through these feelings and just get better at my craft. I need to have self-compassion and remember that there is a community of many people that know how I feel regardless of their accomplishments as a writer or creator. Do you struggle with the fear of being seen? What ways help you overcome these feelings?